I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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