But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
