if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize