Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
