Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
