More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize