oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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