im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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