If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
