So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
