Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
