Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
