i jhust puked up my retainher.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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