they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize