I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
