people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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