Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
