They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Someone signed my nipple.
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