Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
