Those balls look pretty dangerous.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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