Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
