I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
