In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
