I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
