May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
