put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I cut my penus on the lid.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
