its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
