it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
