So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
