I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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