And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If I die, sorry about rent.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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