You're so nebulous sometimes
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Do vagina's smell?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
