why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
