4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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