You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
