lets start a swedish sibling band together
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
