in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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