People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just want nice things and good sex
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
