found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
