I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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