my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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