i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
