dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i think my cat just said my name.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize