So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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