Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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