I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
