I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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