Do you still have your period?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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