you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
