his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
