I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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