32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
