This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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