She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
