I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I need to calm my uterus...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
