your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
