Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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