Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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